Girlfriend2 Girlfriend

What Do You Stand For?

2009-06-09T18:40:00.004-04:00

So many things cross my mind everyday and I sometimes wonder what it is that I stand for. This may sound like a crazy question but before you Scooby Doo me, ask yourself the same thing. Things are constantly happening around us, I recently heard that Atlanta ranks second in the nation with its crime rate. How many of us are turning the other cheek because we think it doesn't affect us. The fugitive lists are long, are these people really that hard to find or is everybody is too busy to look twice at the people around them. Oh, maybe you stand for not being labeled a "snitch". As Fred Sanford would say "you big dummy"! Keep falling for it if you want too.

The question again is, what do you stand for? The videos that are played on t.v. that give young girls, teenagers and even grown women the wrong idea of what a real woman is, what she should look like, and subconsciously limits the things women can become. Do we stand for only entertainers, and booty shakers? Are our men (especially black men) afraid to be themselves because we think the only thing a man can become is a ball player, rapper, or just a hood figure? What have we become as a people?

Because I am blessed to have a job, does that entitle my employer to do, and say what he/she wants because they feel that I can't do any better because of this recession thing? What do you stand for when it comes to respect? How do you stand up for yourself, the people around you, your community?

People that stand for something don't fall for anything, they don't go for anything. When you take a stand you may find that things and people aren't always what they seem. When you stand for something the world looks different. You see more opportunities, you put yourself in the position for great things to happen. Back in the day, civil rights leaders and ordinary people stood for something. The village raised the kids. The kids are now our parents and/or grandparents. They are the reason we have choices today. If you think about it, we really don't have a choice but to do better for the next generation.

I challenge everyone today to stand for something. Even if its pressing the issue of getting better customer service at the grocery store. Let someone know they could be better at what they do and you deserve to be treated better in the process. Give people the respect they deserve and teach them how to respect you in return. Some simply don't know.

Remember stand for something or fall for anything.

I welcome comments @ freshholmes@yahoo.com

About Mothers Day

2009-05-17T23:00:00.004-04:00

We celebrated Mothers Day Sunday, May 10. I am sure that women who not only have kids in their lives but men as well are deserving of more than just one day. Women contribute so much to this world for many people on a daily basis. Mothers are nurturing by nature, which means we care even when we shouldn't. If it were up to me, we would celebrate Mothers Day once a week! Every Friday mothers would have the day off and flowers delivered to them along with a spa gift certificate and have breakfast, lunch, and dinner catered to them.

We appreciate the creative things our kids come up with and beautiful bouquet of different color roses we often receive on this day however Mothers day flowers are most often remembered when they are given on regular days just to say thank you for all that we do everyday. Mothers are on the clock 24/7. We don't have any days off, no personal days, and sick days are definitely not allowed! So for us to limit ourselves to just one day(officially) to show mothers they are appreciated is kinda crazy.

Here is something to think about, most of the time when you make a woman happy (especially a mother)your day or even your life will be just a little better. It is a wise idea to pick up the phone every now and then or even check out 1800flowers to see how much nicer you can make someones day. Everybody likes to be appreciated outside of the obvious days because it's not expected. We also love surprises so when you order flowers, switch it up a bit, buy something other than roses.

What's It To You?

2009-05-12T20:38:00.003-04:00

Just be happy for me!

It is truly amazing to me how people think. We as a society have gotten so comfortable with everything that is considered "normal". Our way of thinking is so traditional, that anything else is viewed as stupid, weird, crazy, or any other demeaning word used, simply describes the person that thinks it as being simple minded.

I am annoyed (not upset) at some of the responses only because I thought that when you tell someone something good, they would just be happy for you. Never thought that the details of my happiness should or would determine how happy they would be for me. It has lead me to wonder, either some don't believe in what I do or some think that if I'm not getting paid for it then I'm not that good at what I do, but if I am getting paid for it they are surprised. Just think, if you won the lottery, wouldn't you think that people would be happy for you simply because you won? The amount shouldn't determine how happy others would be for you.

I want to explain some things. I understand that to many people writing is something that is never thought about. Writing is one of those things that you know people do, because everything single thing you read, somebody wrote it. From the ingredients on food boxes to magazine articles. I guess nobody stopped to think that the person behind writing everything you read may have gotten paid for it or maybe they didn't but, its what they wanted to do so with that being said, what's it to you?

I am fascinated by the way people process information. I want to give some of you something to think about. My goal is to be self-employed. I have had to clean an apartment for free in order to get a contract with a company. Once I got the contract, I understood that the way I continued to do business, as far as my work ethic and attitude, would determine how long my contract lasted and the potential I would have with others in the business, because word of mouth is a form of marketing. The type of marketing you do depends on your business, however, every business requires clientele. People will talk about you if your work or product is good or bad. The good word of mouth is the type of free marketing that has big returns. Sometimes giving something free along with a pleasing personality, and positive thinking goes a very long way. People will do business with those they believe in and can trust. It's also obvious when people do things just for the money. There is nothing wrong with getting paid for what you do, but when you actually like and take pride in what you do it makes a huge difference and it shows.

There is a saying,"Do what you love and never work another day in your life". Maybe I am one of those rare people who believe that if your heart is in what you do, getting paid for it is a bonus. Its like the ultimate compliment. Imagine, for a minute, about how great your life would be if you did what you loved and were compensated well for it, especially if it's something you would do for free.

My sixth grade math teacher used to tell us everyday at the end of class "remember, if you can't say anything good, don't say nothing. For those of you who are thinking that I should just keep it to myself, maybe you are right, or maybe it wouldn't kill you to just be happy for someone else for once. You see, I know it's impossible to please a crowd. I think apart of me lives in a world where people are just happier. I've also learned over time that you have to be a strong minded person or you'll crumble when people around you become negative.

This time I'm not interested in your thoughts and comments. Thanks for reading!

Open Your Heart and Mind

2009-05-02T12:15:00.005-04:00

There is no question as to whether or not things will get hard in our lives at some point. Sometimes we will have to make decisions that aren't exactly right but its the best we know to do at that time. Things will happen or have happened in our lives that we never thought possible, good and bad. When the bad things happen to you or someone else don't ever think negatively or be quick to judge because it could have been you. Be thankful it wasn't you then live by the "golden rule" treat them the way you would want to be treated.

Its easier said than done but try not to let these tough times get the best of you. People can be cruel and closed minded about things because they haven't experienced certain things or they have become bitter. If you are either one of those people, I pray that somehow you will change this way about yourself, if not I pray that things change dramatically for you and you are able to help someone in return.

Funny how people are quick to judge you based on things you've done or decisions you've made without knowing the situation behind it. I am one of those that don't have to know. Just knowing a drastic decision was made tells me that there was a serious situation behind it. Its common sense to me but then common sense aint so common.

Hopefully, we will all reach a point where we are confident in ourselves to where we don't care about what someone else thinks of us when it comes to doing what we have to do. People will always have something to say no matter what so for that I say don't worry about it.

When you've done your best......... don't worry about it!
When they say things that aren't true...........don't worry about it!
When you KNOW what you KNOW, don't try to prove yourself to anybody............don't worry about it!
You can either have control over your life or let life control you.
Say the serenity prayer and don't worry about it!

If you pray don't worry but if you're going to worry don't pray. Simple as that

Not What You Expected

2009-04-21T22:07:00.002-04:00

Just because it didn't come as expected doesn't mean its not what you wanted

People, be mindful that the opportunity of a lifetime may present itself in an unusual and strange way. Always keep an open mind and remember the saying: There is more than one way to skin a cat. Don't let something great pass you by being simple minded and ignorant.

There may be something or some things that you want to happen in your life but you are too stuck in your way of thinking to see it coming to you. When praying for the things that you want, be sure to ask God to open your mind up to accept it in an unusual way simply because you just never know how an opportunity will present itself.

send comments to freshholmes@yahoo.com

Should Women Pursue Men?

2009-04-19T13:32:00.005-04:00

How should this be done

A series of events lead me to wonder if men like to be pursued by women. Before I go any further remember we are in the year 2009. Almost nothing is traditional anymore. I had conversations with friends about this and actually asked a few guys their opinion. I was very surprised at the response.

This is one of those topics that can be debatable for women because so many of us have gotten relaxed at the thought and the habit of men approaching us. We have figured out how we like to be approach, what this guy should say and/or do to get our attention. We even know how we want guys to look at us. We've grown accustom to thinking all we have to do is look pretty and they will come.

I am proud to say that I will be thirty soon and very proud of it because of all the things that I have learned in my life. I would not rather be younger nor do I wish to be anything like anyone else. I think I have fallen in love with myself. This love for myself has also brought on direction in different areas of my life. I now know what it is that I want, especially in a relationship. So I have to be willing to sometimes go after a man that may be what I am looking for.

So back to the question. Should women pursue men? I think the answer is yes. I would also say that there is an art to it. Men are rarely approached by women and surely don't get the flowers or the chocolates that we look forward to. As mentioned before, I did question a few men and their first two answers were the same. They all like the idea of women showing their interest. It tells them that woman is confident and confidence is sexy to a man. The question was how did they want to be approached or what could a woman do to turn them on initially. The response was " I don't know". This was very surprising because they realized this was something they had never given thought to. These guys were clueless. They had never been asked this question before.

From all the information I gathered I realized there is an art to this. We do know that all men aren't the same so the approach has to be different. There are a couple rules that are the same no matter what. The first one is you don't just walk up to a guy and say let me get your number or whats up for the night. A guy does not want to be man handled! Although it feels good to flip the script sometimes so they can see how it feels. Initial contact is not the time for that. Save it for when he has earned it. The second is be sexy without being sexual. There is a difference.

We know the ratio of women to men (in Atlanta) is like 20:1 or something like that, so just think even with those numbers, how many don't work out and the many ways you can set yourself apart from other women. Bottom line is to not be afraid to make the first move or the second but leave the third up to him and if you aren't quite there yet with the approach then just give him the eye (without being stalkerish) til he notices and be approachable. Compliment him and show genuine interest. Somehow it will all come together if its suppose to.

Comments, suggestions, questions? Shoot me an email freshholmes@yahoo.com

Think Of Your Time As Money

2009-03-28T01:38:00.003-04:00

You gotta pay me for mine

I have noticed that when you make yourself available to people on the regular basis your demand decreases. People start to take you for granted because they think you have nothing to do. Let me give you an example. Lets say you have the rare opportunity to spend and hour with a celebrity of your choice. Wouldn't you prepare for that day? Why? One major reason is because you know that this person's time is very valuable and you want to get the most of your time with this person. On the flip side you have someone you always have access to and you can call them for anything and everything and sometimes nothing. See the difference?

In real estate contracts they use a term: Time is of the essence. That term can be used in things that we do everyday. Just like the saying: with age comes wisdom. I've learn the value of MY time and if its to be wasted I would rather waste MY time than allow someone else to do it. Do you value your time? There are only twenty-four hours in a day and that's really not a lot of time. When you work, have kids to tend to and a destructive rabbit, who has time to waste? By the way does anyone want a rabbit? Please email me!

Over time I have become more relaxed and I pick my battles. I decide what to get upset over. I would rather spend time thinking of my next career move or what the kids will eat for dinner than dwell over an unreturned phone call or someone or something that I absolutely have no control over. Hint: Refer to the serenity prayer, then react to whatever situation you are faced with. Life is really too short to major in anything minor. Pray about everything, control what you can, do what you can to change what you can and let go and let God do the rest.

If there was a way to send a text invoice after each phone call, think of how much money we would make. People, we have to start thinking of our time as money. If we did, we would look at things differently and hopefully consider it as a way to filter out the unnecessary things in our lives. Yeah the Chris Brown and Rhianna situation is a great conversation piece but we must invest our time and energy in more important things. Gas prices are still too high, Unemployment is at an all time high and my rabbit is destroying my place. Someone please help me! This is a great time to change the way you think and become a better you.

Make a to do list every night and follow through with it the next day. Even if its reading a chapter in a book you've allowed to collect dust. Do something to better yourself. Make the most of your time!!

I would love to hear from you freshholmes@yahoo.com

Get Your Mind Right

2009-03-13T21:40:00.004-04:00

Did you know that the most successful people have basic habits? They have a vision, they set goals, and go for it. In the process they don't let anyone tell them what they can and can't do. Its amazing how we surround ourselves with negative things and people and think nothing of it.

When was the last time you did something you were proud of? It could have been something as simple as losing one pound of ten, making the last payment on a long term bill, or finally getting out of your comfort zone doing something you should have done a long time ago. We are so good at saying I will start that tomorrow or I will start fresh on Monday morning or we swear to get it right for the new year.

Taking the first step toward a dream can make you feel like you are on cloud nine. Shortly after that imagine what you will feel like once you have accomplished that goal. Most of us have no clue how important self discipline is. You have to start by gaining control over your thoughts. You must replace one negative thought with three or four positive thoughts. In other words you have to reprogram your way of thinking.

People that fail to achieve their desired level of success do so because they are easily influenced by others. Have you ever heard the saying: Opinions are like butt holes, everybody has one? Think about how true that is. No matter what you say or do, someone is going to think something about it. The last time you made a decision, did you have to consult with family and/or friends? Why? Successful people consult with experienced like minds. We consult with inexperienced broke minds. Why?

We were not born with the spirit of fear. It was taught to us. I challenge you to do something that will make you proud of yourself and hopefully encourage those around you to do the same. This is still a new year. Its not too late to make this year ten times better than last year. Keep your dreams alive by doing something everyday that brings you closer to obtaining them.

Share your thoughts at freshholmes@yahoo.com

Food For Thought

2009-03-06T21:47:00.001-05:00

Check Me Out!

2009-03-01T13:23:00.002-05:00

I DID THAT!!

There is an up and coming web magazine called The League Magazine. I was given the opportunity to write the introduction to Keri Hilson's interview and she (Miss Ivirlei) thought enough of it to publish it in the latest issue of the magazine. I was very excited to see my name in print and as one of the contributing editors. It is motivation to me and forces me to think more positive thoughts about myself. Its funny how others see our potential before we do. This is one of those times for me.

Thank You Ivirlei for the opportunity! It means a lot to me!

Please view the web magazine at www.leaguemagazine.com

The Power of Prayer

2009-03-01T12:27:00.003-05:00

Do you know how much power is in praying?

I have come to realize that I need to pray constantly day in and out and it helps. I pray to get through each day, sometimes each hour of work. My need for God's mercy is growing and changing. I don't consider myself to be a religious person but I obviously believe in a higher being. I honestly don't know the story behind the the bible, the events that took place, who said and did what. All I know is that there has to be someone watching over us everyday.

Think about all the things that could have been and probably should have but wasn't. Who do you think is behind that. Its not a matter of "good luck" or you just so happen to make the right decision. It was God's favor that intervened. At some point you have to recognize this and give thanks for it all.

With prayer you also have to realize that you get what you put out. You cant ask for good things to happen to you and you are a negative person or you don't ever stop to help others whenever possible. Positive things come from prayer when your heart is also in the right place. The law of attraction is very real.

Prayer is powerful and it works! We are experiencing hard economic times as a nation.
Even though people are struggling financially and in other ways, somehow we manage to vote in our first black president. Which was no mistake! That is the power of prayer and positive thinking, and tangible evidence of faith that many had to make it happen.

From this day forward make it a priority to put God first and pray. Thank him for everyday you wake up, thank him for food shelter, your health and if one person loves you thank him for that as well. Tell him you appreciate him and that you love him. He will in turn smile at you with his blessings. Stay positive and know that all things are possible through him.

I would love to hear from you. Send emails to freshholmes@yahoo.com

Opportunity Is Knocking

2008-10-05T12:40:00.004-04:00

Will you ever answer?

How often do you pray for change? How many times have you put yourself in the position for change to come? Have you ever heard of laws of attraction? Its how you attract things to you with your thoughts. What you think becomes reality.

It is important for you to know that anything is possible and how far we all go in life is truly up to us. Think about the idea of the air plane before it was actually built. Before anything it was a thought. Someone put their thoughts into action and now we have airplanes. We can't think of what life would be like without them. People now depend on planes for business and personal use. Now do you believe the sky is the limit?

Everyday struggles can easily distract us from our goals in life and along the way we forget what we wanted to be when we grew up. Who says I want to flip hamburgers for a living, or when I grow up I want to pick up trash or clean toilets. If anything we want to own a business and employ people to do these things. There is nothing wrong with any of this, Lord knows I have cleaned my share of toilets but with a bigger goal in mind. For those of us that want to be entrepreneurs it is in our best interest to make the laws of attraction work for us however possible. We tend to think that we have to wait until the time is right or we'll work on it when we get the money, or that we have to read every book possible in order to get started. All you need is a vision. Experience will be the best teacher.

Its October, what have you done so far this year to accomplish anything? It helps to write daily and weekly goals. This will keep you focused on the ultimate goal. Your support should be those that have your best interest at heart and the people who share the same interest. Read books along the way to keep you motivated, post pictures of what you want. Don't be afraid to dream!

Remember you have more to lose if you don't dream at all!

Share your thoughts and dreams. Send me an email to freshholmes@yahoo.com

WANTED: REAL MEN

2008-09-25T23:34:00.008-04:00

These are the five best ways to tell

Ladies listen up! We all know that good men are hard to find. Some of you may be married, some single. Either way you know the difference between a good man and whatever else is out there. You name it, that's what I'll call it! My research department has informed me that the pickins is slim! This means we have to put a search team together, strap on the leather boots, and get rid of the baggage to find what we want. We also have to except minor short comings, reorganize our priorities (a need and necessity list). I have listed the things we are looking for. If all doesn't apply, he isn't the one.

1) Has learned from past mistakes.

This is important because it shows that even though he's made bad decisions in the past, he hasn't repeated them. A rough past should be the foundation for a mentally stable future. Besides experience is the best teacher.

2) The relationship he has with his kids.

A man that doesn't take care of his kids, surely will not care for you. NO EXCEPTIONS! Your kids are the next best thing to you, so if he doesn't care about his kids DO NOT expect him to care anything for you either.

3) Type of people he associates with.

I'm afraid there is some truth to the saying, birds of a feather flock together. Look at his closest friends. They have some things in common. You need to know what it is. You also want to hear what others have to say about him. Keep in mind you can't change anybody. This is why you keep it moving. NEXT

4)What is his outlook on life?

What are his plans in life? Does he have goals? What motivates him? Is he registered to vote? What does he think of the presidential election? Both of you actually need to have answers to these questions. A person without a destination is lost.

5) Keeps a job and pays bills.

A real man knows that things have to be done and actually does them. A man will sacrifice for family and provide the best way possible. He will do what's best for family and not himself. Paying bills shows that he is responsible. Believe me when I tell you, many males will not pay bills.

Ladies, remember in order to get what you want and need you have to be willing to meet him half way. A relationship is give and take and this goes both ways. Don't mess things up for yourself being selfish and stupid. On the other hand if you have someone in your life that's draining you, then do what you have to do. The sooner the better!

Send comments to freshholmes@yahoo.com

Yes We Can!

2008-09-23T00:04:00.004-04:00

Let's Practice What Obama Preaches

Change is in the air! You have to feel it some kind of way. This is a historical time in our lives and as of now we have no idea of what's next. I have been seeing voter registrations everywhere. They have been stressing the issue of how important this is.

We all know people that complain about things in their lives. They even complain about the things they have total control of. Why do this if you aren't registered to vote? You might as well be a nobody because if you don't vote, you really don't exist.

A new year can start on any given day. You just have to pick the day. There's no better day or time than NOW!! Gas prices are outrageous, we can't afford to feed our family. When Ramen Noodles go up, you know times are hard!! Don't stand around giving directions unless you are an experienced director.

Television, music, material things are all distractions from the real issues. For some reason we choose to ignore the things that are taking place before our eyes. Changes are being put into place that will control our lives and NOBODY is above it. We are being controlled with technology and food.

Remember thoughts are things that determine your destination. So if you think negative you will get negative results. Its no secret! Laws of attraction exist even if you don't believe it. To prove my point, wake up tomorrow morning and tell yourself all day that you are going to have a bad day. See what happens.

We as a people have so much power and use it in the worse way. If everybody takes a small step, it will equal to one big step. Research what you hear, turn off the t.v., READ A BOOK! Say something nice to someone, smile, wash your hands more. DO SOMETHING! Anything positive to make a change in this world. VOTE FOR OBAMA!

Send your thoughts and comments to freshholmes@yahoo.com

Yes We Can!

2008-09-23T00:04:00.000-04:00

Love and Money

2008-09-19T11:43:00.006-04:00

Which would you choose?

The perfect life would be to fall deeply in love with someone and live happily ever after. When we hear that or say that its understood that living happily ever after includes being financially well off, in a relationship that's a dream come true in every way. The kids are smart as whip and become successful adults.

Now open your eyes and face reality. We have married couples struggling to make ends meet. Single parents have it even harder. These days living happily ever after is being able to just pay bills on time. Hoping your kids will stay out of trouble because they understand the sacrifice parents have to make working more and spending less time with them.

Truth is sometimes the pressure of having pay bills can force you to think about things you wouldn't if circumstances were better. There are certain things we must have in life which include a place to live, food, clothes, etc. I am keeping things simple by focusing on the basic necessities. We are facing high gas and food prices, everything is going up except our income which is still the same or lower because so many people are losing their jobs.

Since we have families to feed we start to look at things differently and weigh our options. With all things considered, we may make a screwed up decision based on the will to survive but because we also do it out of love for our families, do you think we chose money over love? Do you think that the saying is true that money is the root of all evil or the love of money is the root of all evil. Whatever the case may be we all want love and need money.

What do you think? Send me an email freshholmes@yahoo.com

Love and Money

2008-09-19T11:43:00.001-04:00

What About Your Friends

2008-09-16T00:00:00.003-04:00

Are they really your friends?

Let's start with the definition of friend. The dictionary says that a friend is someone that is attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard. A person who gives assistance; a supporter. A person who is on good terms with another; a person who is not hostile.

Now think about the people in your circle that you call your friends. Is your closest friend someone you can talk to without them judging you? Can you tell them about your deepest thoughts and feelings without it coming back on you later? Can your friend keep a secret?
Is your friend someone you can depend on? Does your friend give constructive criticism.

A friend is someone that has your best interest at heart. Someone that would never hurt you on purpose. A friend is someone that has no problem with admitting their faults and will apologize when wrong. A friend prefers to discuss the issues they have with you to you and not someone else. A friend will sacrifice some things for you such as a combo for more items on Wendy's ninety-nine cents menu so both of you are able to eat. A friend should only question your need for help so that they are able to help you in the best way possible. Also keep in mind that a jealous person can never be a good friend to anybody because there will always be a conflict of interest.

Notice that the definition of friend did not mention time in any way. So you can stop saying someone is your friend or best friend because of the amount of time you've known each other . That doesn't count! (Literally)

Have you realized who your real friends are? How? Send me an email
freshholmes@yahoo.com

Let The Relationship Begin!

2008-09-09T22:59:00.007-04:00

Who Makes it Official?

Remember in elementary school or the first year of middle school when a boy liked a girl he slipped her a note that said: Will you be my girlfriend? circle yes or no. Those were the good old days when simple things were indeed simple. I was wondering how this works in 2008.

Women in general are always more willing and ready to commit than men. Most of us seem to have a sense of urgency when it comes to relationships. There is nothing wrong with wanting to know if the guy you're interested in- is on the same page as you. In the beginning its important to discuss where each of you are in life to see if a serious long term relationship is even an option. You shouldn't start anything assuming you both want the same things.

After a couple months of dating and discussing dating expectations, you find that you and this guy have great potential to develop a wonderful long lasting relationship. He consistently compliments you, smiles at you, doesn't mind being a perfect gentlemen (especially in public). He enjoys your company and has mentioned he would like you to meet his family. The conversation at this point says that you're a couple however he hasn't said the actual words or slipped you a note so........ it's up to you. Make it official by telling him how you feel and that you know that he feels the same- and because you both feel the same, he is now your boyfriend:).

How was your relationship made official? Share your story! Email me at freshholmes@yahoo.com

Is It Possible To Fall In Love Cautiously?

2008-09-03T22:27:00.005-04:00

A friend and I were talking about falling in love and were wondering if its possible to do it carefully. My answer was no. Anyone that has ever been in love and has had their heart broken knows that love just like life has no guarantees. When you fall in love with someone it is in hopes of something great and long term.

Things happen and people change. Although its not possible, but what if relationships came along with expiration dates and/or contracts and breach of the contract could result in legal action. I agree that this does sound crazy, however take into consideration the heartache and pain that we endure behind a selfish act from someone we decided to love and give the one thing we can never get back (time). Even though time and emotions are priceless, it would be nice to be compensated for sanity's sake. After a break up comes a complete makeover. Besides this may make the other person rethink some things if they have a lot more to lose.

While there really is no safe way to fall in love, we could probably agree that we should never ignore obvious signs of drama to come. We also have to use our head more than our hearts.
Its okay to see a person for who they really are and except them as is. This doesn't mean that you have to have a relationship with this person. Once you figure things out go from there but do not ever waste time thinking you can change someone into what you want them to be.

True love and happiness are two of the many things we all live for. Don't let your past relationships determine your future and hinder your ability to love like never before. Live, love, learn and move on.

Have you been able to fall in love cautiously? Has it worked? I would love to hear about it.
freshholmes@yahoo.com

JG8D69D

Have You Predetermined Your Destiny?

2008-08-24T20:37:00.004-04:00

You really are what you think

I met this lady last week who had just found out she had lung cancer the day before. She said she knew she would always get it because her father had it. Her family had been asking her to go to the doctor for awhile because they were concerned about her, she would lose her voice for days at a time. She finally went and the doctors gave her the confirmation it seemed like she had been waiting for. The day after (which was the day I met her) she was already talking about her own funeral arrangements. She had it all together as if she had been thinking about it a few months or so before her diagnosis. She knew what she wanted to wear, the songs she wanted to be played, the church, matter fact her next destination was the funeral home.

Even after being told she only had a couple months left to live, had she given up on life?
It seemed like she was okay with everything. I understand at some point she would have to face reality however facing reality doesn't mean she shouldn't think she wouldn't stand a chance at recovering or at least extending the time given. Of everything to do, why give up on life?

This made me wonder if we all have thoughts that have somewhat predetermined part of our destiny. It can be simple thoughts that include a job or starting a business, a fulfilling relationship with someone, the house of your dreams, achieving financial freedom, or even an illness because "its in the family". Once we really realize everything begins with thoughts, will we begin to think differently to change the direction of our lives?

We can all begin to make small changes in how we think by changing what we believe, and of course the company we keep. Our environment, the people that we surround ourselves with have a lot to do with how we think, and the direction of our life. Remember a new year can begin everyday. Start today making small changes in the way you think. Replace every negative thought with three or more positive thoughts.

My challenge to all who read this would be to try this for a week and email me the good news. I would love to hear it. www.freshholmes@yahoo.com

Are You Dating A Man With Insecurities?

2008-07-17T23:43:00.002-04:00

Don't Turn The Other Cheek

When we meet people we normally meet their representative. Meaning, we don't meet the real person until a few months down the line. The very beginning stages of a relationship is spent getting to know each other and just doing whatever each other likes. Gradually the real person reveals themselves. It may not be until you decide to have a girls night out that he decides to show his true colors. First he trips about you going out, next its what you wear, then its the friends you will be hanging with followed by what time you should come back. These things should be done tastefully and with respect to your mate. Fact still remains you are grown and should be treated that way.

A man is only insecure for five reasons. 1) Past relationships where he was cheated on 2) He has been or is currently cheating himself 3) He just hasn't been the man he should be towards you.
4) Physical flaws 5) Lack of money

Men usually show signs of insecurities by trying to control the relationship. They want to know where you are at all times. Who you are on the phone with. What you are doing when you are out of their sight. When you don't have enough time and space to yourself you will go crazy.
There is no reason for anybody to know your every move unless you are the president and he is even entitled to bathroom breaks without reporting his where abouts.

Some men become physically or verbally abusive sometimes both. Either way, don't ignore the signs. Don't think its cute and that's the only way he can show his love for you because its not. Love is NEVER suppose to hurt! Statistics show that men end up killing the woman once she has decided to leave. This is not a situation anyone should go through alone. Remember to keep your support system strong and if you don't have one that is what Girlfriend2Girlfriend is here for. Should you find yourself in this situation please send me an email so that I can help you immediately!

Holla at me freshholmes@yahoo.com

The Dating Game

2008-06-27T23:10:00.006-04:00

Play the game their way and win!

Being single again doesn't mean you have to be lonely and depressed. Consider it a good thing because you can do whatever you want without having to answer to anyone. The dating game has double standards, meaning women shouldn't do the same things men do. Now that its 2008 the same rules just don't apply. Today women wear the pants and skirts, we are able to make the same amount if not more money than men, We are head of our households, we have the power to make major decisions without a males opinion. Women can do more things at once than man can do at any given moment. Always remember the only thing men have over women is physical strength!

Now when you meet a man you can take control of everything in a sexy feminine way and get what you want. Be sure to ask all the questions you didn't ask the last person. Thing is to be upfront with them in the beginning. Don't be afraid to tell them what you don't want and what you expect from them. Suggest they do the same. This way both of you will know what to expect and there is no misunderstanding.

You will find that men can't handle this as well as women. Remember men are more visual and they only want you to be interested in them. You dating someone else and them at the same time is a turn off. Some will go for the competition at first because they want to be chosen.

Once you put yourself in the dating game be prepared mentally if you don't want to be with just one person it may be a good idea to limit time and conversation with any one person to keep from getting caught up. Keep it moving! Looking at it as fishing, you can always throw back the one you don't want and vice versa. Don't forget you have options! No need to settle.

You only have one life to live. Live it to the fullest and be safe while doing it!

Share your opinion. Email me at freshholmes@yahoo.com

What To Do After A Break Up

2008-06-19T22:06:00.004-04:00

Celebrate!!

Unfortunately breaking up with someone doesn't come with a how to manual and if it did men
wouldn't read it anyway. There are millions of reasons why people break up. Whatever the case may be, feelings don't go away over night. Its hard to except someone didn't love you as much as you loved them. Do not blame yourself for anything. To know that you've given your best and that wasn't good enough is a heart breaker in itself!

However life goes on and the road to recovery involves some mental and physical changes. Its normal to be emotional and upset because this was someone you truly cared about. You know the saying, " things happen for a reason". Its not your place to find that reason, trust God and thank him for it. Now you can think about yourself and what makes you happy.

Now it's time to celebrate! Redecorate your living space without his/her pictures. Don't feel guilty about it, the memories in your heart will last forever (if you want them to). Reinvent yourself! The goal is to create a new love for yourself and make him/her hate themselves the next time they see you. Remember the beautiful person that you are and don't let anyone change you. The person who wronged you missed out!

After The Lust Is Gone

2008-06-11T22:38:00.003-04:00

Now that the steam in the bedroom has cleared, Is it really love?

Relationships tend to have the same story book beginnings....... Once upon a time you met this guy and he was everything you ever wanted. You seem to think that this one completes because of all the things you both enjoy, such as long walks in the park, you both like hot wings from the same place, the same reality shows, this one even watched and said he enjoyed your favorite chic flick, which confirmed it all for you. On top of all that he compliments you almost everyday, kisses you often, and does just about whatever you like.

Lets skip to the middle of the story. Its been a year and you guys have been around each other non stop since the day you met. Things are good but not as good as they were in the beginning. He's not complimenting you as much, the walks in the park have officially ended and hot wings from that "special place" are not a big deal anymore. Now what?

Now that the thrill is gone, do you know why you are still together? In the words of Tina,
" What's Love Got To Do With It?" While love is the foundation, there are many elements that hold that love together such as the consideration, communication, money, support and respect. There have probably been days when you wish you could click your heels and disappear, which is okay! Thing is, if you could disappear, would you return? How long would you stay gone and what would you do is probably the best way to answer the question as to whether or not your relationship is surviving off love or lust.

Its understood that all relationships will have their issues. What determines if it sinks or swim is how those issues are dealt with. Sometimes you will have to agree to disagree and move on. For more serious issues you will have to compromise with each other. When you are dealing with serious issues it may be a good idea to remember why you were so attracted to each other. Hopefully this will make it easier and quicker to resolve your issue(s).

If its love or lust, time will tell you sooner than later. Once you figure it out do what you gotta do. We only have one life to live. Live it to its fullest potential and make a way out of no way. That's what women do.

Thoughts and opinions matter! send me yours freshholmes@yahoo.com

YOU'RE FIRED!

2008-06-07T01:32:00.000-04:00

Don't Get Trumped!!

Most of us fear losing our jobs for all the obvious reasons, we have mouths to feed and bills that probably become due almost every week. Think outside the norm for a second. What if you went to work as usual only to collect a pink slip. What would you do then? We all know that finding a job is a job in itself. Remember gas prices are high, money is limited and its hot! At some point sending resumes by email won't be enough. Eventually you will have to get out and physically look for something. Around this time we normally start to think about what we should have, could have, and would have done before things got to this point. Now that its too late for those thoughts why not consider something completely different from what you are used to. Something that will offer you more flexibility, more time at home, and more control over your life and how much you earn. Why not work from home!

Think about the things you do at work now. You could do most of those same things from home or you could choose to start your own business. Statistics show that home based businesses are growing rapidly because people have realized just as much money can be made inside the home as well as outside the home. People are able to spend more time with their families and simply enjoy life the way it should be

The benefits of working from home out number the traditional way of working. While there is nothing wrong with getting up out of your bed to go to a place most of us hate anyway, dealing with difficult people, and not even getting paid what we are worth. Why would you or should you, especially if you have a choice. If that is what you prefer then go for it! Obviously there is nothing wrong with it. History shows that this method of earning a living does work.

However, should you decide to try this out, even as a part time job, there are some things you should know before you make this life changing decision. Depending on what type of job you choose the pay rate will most likely be different from what you are used to. When working from home you can make more money off the type of jobs you do as well as how often they need to be done and of course how well you can do it in the time permitted. Whenever looking at a home based business online, make sure they are listed with the Better Business Bureau, have a physical address and a phone number that you can call and actually speak to a live person. Always do your homework on the company you are considering. Some companies require money for their services and/or start up cost. Keep in mind there are many positions that will allow you to work from the comfort of your own home.

Making this decision can be the key to the life you've always dreamed of! Keep hope alive!!

DON'T EVER..................

2008-06-04T01:47:00.000-04:00

Let anybody tell you that you aren't worthy of respect no matter what!

Allow people and/or situations determine who you are when you know yourself better!

Think you are less that the perfect creation that God made you.

Give up on yourself

Say NEVER!!!!!!!!!!

Think that people aren't watching

Think that someone won't tell your business

Think that you are an exception to any rule

Believe one side of the story

Think that you are always right

Think you can't or won't be replaced

Look down on someone because they don't know what you have done.

Think people don't know what you've done

Think people won't see you for who you really are.

Forget the one person that knows your heart.

Its May 28, 2008 but HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

2008-05-28T22:03:00.000-04:00

Who Say's New Years comes only once a year?

Why do we think New Years and resolutions only take place once a year? I've never know them to last longer than a month with anybody. So to make ourselves feel better we put it off til the next year thinking we will start over fresh "for the new year". What about the rest of the year? I have come to realize that everyday should be treated like a new year. Just like the song, We Fall Down But We Get Up! Why does one bad day, week or month determine the rest of the year? Just like we have good days and bad days. Let the good out weigh the bad. Once you decide to do something different with your life, stick to it! Even if you fall out of routine for a couple days or a month. There should always be more days to look forward to than back on anyway. I think the easiest way to do this is to take baby steps into the change. That way its more attainable.

Entertainment News

2008-05-27T00:02:00.000-04:00

Keith Sweat's first album, Make It Last Forever was released in 1987. That album included hits such as Make It Last Forever, I Want Her, Something Just Aint Right, and Don't Stop Your Love. The Second album, I'll Give All My Love To You, was released June of 1990. This album featured hits like Make You Sweat and Merry Go Round. His third album Keep it Comin' released in 1991. He also produced Kut Klose and Silk. Later he, Johnnie Gill, and Gerald LeVert joined together to form LSG. They released two albums. Now he is back with a solo release album titled Just Me, released May 13, 2008. I haven't heard much about this one, but I am sure us old school people can feel it no matter what.

Didn't I Just Say I Got It?!!!

2008-05-26T00:28:00.000-04:00

Okay, so somebody is explaining something to you and you reply, I understand and they continue to explain. After about five minutes of them saying the same thing, you say once again, I understand, thinking maybe they didn't hear you the first time. This is really the third time now and you're pissed, now your tone and facial expression is saying it all and you are wondering if this person is stupid. Well, maybe its you! Think about this, the word understand means to comprehend. Why not say I comprehend or I overstand. Understand (to me) is the opposite. Next time you have to say I understand, tell that person you overstand or you comprehend, and watch the response you get. Whatever it is, I'm sure they won't keep explaining!

Please feel free to post comments: freshholmes@yahoo.com :)

Five Ways To Save Four Dollars For Gas

2008-05-24T11:51:00.000-04:00

It seems like gas prices are going up almost everyday. The vast majority has had to either cut back or cut out some daily activities. Now we have to think of other ways to get things done to save on gas. If its a supply or demand problem, we will never know. At this point it really doesn't matter because for now it is what it is. Maybe these few tips will help you save for a few gallons of that expensive gas.

1) Know the difference between a want and a need!!! A need is something you absolutely can not do with out. Everything else is a want. Be honest with yourself, you know what things can wait!

2) Skip eating out.

Just think, if you eat out once a day and your meal is five bucks that's an easy twenty five dollars a week. and if you are eating out more than that in a day that's maybe almost a half tank of gas a week. The thing is to plan ahead, take left overs for lunch, get up in time to make breakfast, take snacks and all this includes planning dinner as well. Who knows this just might be a healthier alternative for some of us.

3) Clip coupons.

When its time to go grocery shopping, its a good idea to check out the sales papers for coupons and special sales for the items that you will be needing. Don't be afraid to try store brands. Outside of the packaging you may not be able to tell the difference. To save even more money plan your meals for the week, get what you need first and snacks and stuff later.

4) Buy things in larger sizes

Household items that we use the most such as tissue, paper towels, soap, dish detergent, washing powder, etc. The larger the size the cheaper it should be and the less often you have to buy it.
Target has started to sell some household items in bigger quantities. Then there is Sam's and B.J.'s. Remember to compare prices.

5) Find a way (s) to make more money

We should have something we enjoy doing that we can get paid for. Whatever the case may be invest in yourself and don't think you are only worth want your job tells you! Give yourself that pay raise and keep increasing it. Life can easily get in the way of us thinking of ourselves first so we end up thinking less of ourselves and that leads to us thinking we have to settle for what's given. Remember your dreams and goals. Obtain them just a little bit faster by doing what you love and get paid for it!

Inspirational Thought

2008-05-22T01:11:00.000-04:00

Don't wait til something goes wrong to realize how good it was!
Be thankful for everyday, everything, and every moment

Excuse Me, Are You Taken?

2008-05-21T13:25:00.000-04:00

Once interest has been expressed, at what point should you ask if that person is in a relationship?

Some don't think this should be a question at all because this important information should be given without asking. I do agree with that way of thinking, however, we are living in a new day and age where honesty doesn't exist like it used to. In fact, I think we should assume that this information will not be given up front and ask as if we are asking that person's name.

Since we will never understand why relevant information is withheld I've come up with a list of
questions we should ask him or her once interest has been established. While these questions will not guarantee the truth, I think body language will play a part in determining if they're telling the truth. These questions will also give you a better idea of the type of person you are
thinking about letting into your personal space. Negative energy and bad vibes are real!

1) Are you currently in a relationship?

Remember what you've been told all your life. No question is a dumb question! Pay attention to extra blinks, shaking legs, hand movement and stuttering. Key signs of a liar unless they have Turret Syndrome.

2) How long ago did it end?

This will give you some idea if this person is even worth more conversation. If the previous relationship just ended you could be the fall guy or girl. Which means you could be something to do until they work things out.

3) Ever been married?

If this isn't covered in the last question and you have to dig for information, that person is definitely hiding something. Ask how long the marriage was including how long they dated and of course why it ended. Listen carefully to see if they blame the other person. I do understand we may have been in a relationship with that type of person but how they chose to end it says a lot.

3) Any kids? Ages?

Beware of baby mama drama or baby daddy drama! Who has money to throw away on security or replacing windows and tires! And if new kids surface out of the blue after a month, dismiss them.

4) Who is the most important person in your life?

Its important to know about close friendships and family relationships. Once you meet them you will have the inside scoop. Ladies, its true how he treats his mama and the women in his life will determine how he will treat you!

5) What are your goals?

This is also important because it tells you where this person going and may give you some idea of where they've been. This is a question that doesn't require thought. No goals mean no potential!

Hopefully I have helped someone and given others something to think about when meeting that someone "special".

These are my opinions. Please feel free to share yours.

All For You

2008-05-20T23:15:00.000-04:00

I decided to start this blog because I want to reach women who would like to have or need someone to talk to about ANYTHING. I won't claim to have any type of degree when it comes to relationships in general. As we live we experience things with the people we love, people we work with or people we encounter on a daily basis. Whatever the case may be, let's talk about whats on your mind!

I want to inspire, inform, and entertain women of all walks of life.

Please welcome me and help me make this a success!

My blog will feature:

Relationship quizzes
Surveys
Motivational quotes
Entertainment
Recipes
Health & Nutrition